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Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Hi Cesar!

My little Frankie is three years old. I have had him since he was born.  I have never had a problem with his behavior until the past few months.  It seems every time that I leave the house to go to work or go out on the weekends to run errands he gets upset.

  He does not destroy anything in the house, but when I go over to him to say to goodbye and pet him right before I leave the house he growls at me.  The first time it happened I was shocked and let it go.  But now it occurs all the time, and I am not sure how I am supposed to handle this. Can you tell me why all of sudden he would have changed his behavior? Is it a reaction to something I am doing or maybe not doing?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

C. DiPalo
Long Island, NY

Hello C,

When your dog growls at you as you approach, he’s already showing you “I’m tense, I’m nervous, I’m fearful, I’m unsure,” and if you continue to move forward, this reaction will only intensify. The best thing we can do for a dog in this state of mind is to give them space – to ignore that behavior; let him deal with it and eventually, because you’re not nurturing it, it will go away. Remember, when we say “goodbye” to our dogs before we leave, it’s often to fulfill our own, very human feelings of guilt and anticipation.  If you can’t help yourself and you must say goodbye, try to say goodbye earlier, before he is in that troubled state of mind. This way, you’re fulfilling your own need to love your dog without encouraging the unwanted behavior that you’re seeing when you say goodbye right before you leave for the day.

Stay calm and assertive,

Cesar Millan

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The non-calm member of our pack

We have two boxers (5 & 11) and a Pointer/Staff mix (13mo) in our pack. The Boxers gladly sleep all day in the kennel without a problem. Unfortunately our other dog has separation anxiety and shreds everything in the kennel including the other dogs beds.
This is a problem since our oldest dog had Degenerative Myopathy and requires a bed due to his condition.
We use the suggested techniques prior to taking them to the kennel before leaving for the day, and have included other healthy distractions for the dogs while we are away.
We are strong pack leaders and followed your techniques to great success in all other areas.
I am afraid we will have to give up our youngest member of the pack for adoption if we cant kennel them together during the day.
Help?
David

SERIOUS SEPARATION ANXIETY

Hi my name is Sadie. My dog's name is Titan, he is an 11 month old red nosed pitbull. He is a very loving and affectionate dog. However, he has problems when we leave him alone. We tried at first to not put him in a crate, but when we did this he would chew up anything and everything around the house. When we put him in the crate, he barks and whines and cries. Not to mention the most recent development, now he has chewed the top of his plastic crate and shoved his head through it which resulted in 5 inch cuts along his throat and cuts all over his nose and mouth. So we tried to get a metal crate, thinking that it would be better for him because he could see all over and have more room. We tried to make this new crate a "den" and teach him that it was his and that he should like to go in it, we put his toys and his bed in it and he seems to go into it fine. But when we return home we find that he has been trying to force his way out of the kennel. He's escaped twice already and has bent the poles already, leaving himself with a swollen nose. I don't understand why my dog would inflict so much pain on himself and it makes me scared to leave him because I can't stand to see him in pain. I have tried everything and I don't know what to do anymore. I love my dog and I need to find a way to make him happy.

Seperation Anxiety

We just got a new 5 month old Beagle puppy who has separation Anxiety. I usually always take him for a long walk before putting him in the crate. He is fine in the crate as long as someone is in the room with him, he will chew on his bone, eat a little snack or fall asleep. However if you leave the room to go to the bathroom even, he howls, and will continue this until you are back in the room. I try to only let him out or walk into the room when he is quiet. I have heard that the previous owners left him in the crate while they went to work and got rid of him because of this behavior. I have tried leaving him out of the crate and just going to another room and he howls. I am doing short sessions with him to get him used to the idea but it does not seem to be working at all. What am I missing??

Separation Anxiety

Hello from Ireland Cesar!
I am in big trouble with a small girl only eight weeks old. She is a beautiful West Highland Terrier i only have her four days (and four very long nights!)she is hoarse from crying at night when we go to bed - i keep her in the utillity room which is two metres by three metres floor space,is this enough space for her (she's tiny!).I dont really want to share my bedroom with her have you any solutions?I'm scared i may be doing her long term damage my husband is convinced if i give in now we are doomed,
Hugs and best wishes
from Eire,

Separation Anxiety

I have a 1 year old English Mastiff. I have had him since he was 6 weeks old and had him completely potty trained by 16 weeks. I don't have room in my apartment for a crate big enough for him, so I shut the doors and leave him in the living room when I'm gone, which worked fine for several months. Over the last couple of months, however, he has started peeing or pooing in the floor EVERY time I leave the house. He has also torn up mini-blinds and pulled carpet up and destroyed padding underneath. I went to a local herb shop and bought some anxiety drops the lady said that handlers give their dogs before shows to calm them down, but they have not done any good. I take him for walks before I leave him and I don't make a big deal of leaving by telling him goodbye or anything. I am nearly at wits end! I love him to pieces and don't want to give him up. Any suggestions?

My Jack Russell cries when I leave her

My little Jack Russell girl runs toward me when I leave out the door for even 2 minutes. She barks and cries and sits at the door until I come back. I live in an apartment which she does well but she has separation anxiety so bad that I do not know what to do. She also cries and barks when she is in the car with me when I leave for a little while. What can I do?

Hello, I have a 5 year

Hello,
I have a 5 year old Shih Tzu and I have the same issue. I know that I have spoiled him and treated him like he is my baby. Maybe that is part of the issue. I am at a loss as well. Please let m eknow if you get an answer on this. I am very interested in helping my dog to calm down and know I will always come home for him.

Separation Anxiety

I have a 5 yr old Australian Shepherd. (Dash) I've had him since he was 8 wks old. He has had this problem for years now and I have been finding that is getting worse. We used to crate him but he would get out and destroy the house. He would soil and urinate all over. So I have just been leaving him outside. Then he started destroying things outside when we leave. He doesn't do anything if I leave him out all day when we are home, only when we leave. We tryed putting him in a outdoor kennel but he gets out of that too. Im a stay at home mom and hardly leave the place, We live out in the county and he has plenty of things to do. So I have just started taking him with us when we go to town, just to keep him out of trouble, but I get scared that he will start destroying my car if I leave him to long, and if I put him in the back of the truck he always trys to jump out, im too scared to tie him back there because he may get over the side and choke. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. We love him to death and he is great with our kids and a great watch dog but I can't deal with the way he has been acting. Is it something, Im doing? We take him out for walks all he time and even let him run with us when we ride the horses. I know he is a herding dog and we tryed to get him to work the sheep but he has no interest in them, He almost seems scared of them. He has never has a bad experance with them or anything, Im just not sure what is wrong.

Did you get a reply to your

Did you get a reply to your problem? If so will you share it?

hope it helps

Aussies are very smart dogs, and they are not happy unless they are working hard for you. You might want to try taking him for a walk every day at the same time so he can know when to expect you to "give him something to do." You can also take him to a local park to play frisbee/catch and let him get all that energy out. He just needs you to let him know that you need him, so keeping him busy and occupied is what he loves! I have an Aussie and she is 3 months old, we have only had her for a week and she already shows signs of wanting to get out and do stuff. She's beautiful, and she's gonna be keeping us on our toes thats for sure! good luck to you

retrieving retriever

dear Cesaro,

hello my name is Darrian minor. i have a 10 year old Japanese Akita named Mulan. we've had her since she was a puppy. she is an absolute angel. the only problem we have ever had with her was that she would take stuffed animal remotes etc. and bury them. but we have just gotten a 9 month old golden retriever puppy from my aunt and we thought that if we got the puppy Isabella then mulan would have a friend to play with. that all is working out fine. but you see. Isabella is very attached to me and when i leave even if other people are in the house she starts to chew thing up and cry. in the beginning we put her in a metal kennel that my aunt had given us, but when i had left for school she would bend the bars to try and find some way to get out. when i would come home i would find her out of her kennel chewing on something/anything. the kennel was trashed so we had to through it out. so we left her out with my other dog mulan thinking that mulan would keep her in check knowing that mulan is the dominate type. yet when i come home from school something has been torn up. clothes, bamboo stick, stuffed animals, etc. it got so bad to where she pulled the carpet up and tour chunks out of the carpet padding underneath and she had gotten into a box of heart guard and had to get her stomach pumped. my parents and i had thought it might be she was ripping up my clothes because it had my sent on them so i had taken one of the sox's she tore a hole through and put in another one then tide a knot around it and gave it to her to play with thinking it would help. it hasn't one bit. when i left one time my grand mother had said that Isabella had cried nonstop while i was gone. i don't know what to do. i don't want to get rid of her. shes been to 4 different homes and she is such a sweet dog. i don't want to give up on her but i don't know what else to do
please help.
thanks,
darrian minor

reply

I have the same problem can you share the advise you got? Thanks

Separation issues

Hi

I have a 17 month old Beagle that suffers from really bad separation anxiety. I've had her since she was 8 weeks old and she's always had problems when we leave the house. I've tried so many different ways to deal with this but can't seem to make her at ease. I am a stay at home Mom so I am with her for most of the day...but not all day. She used to stay in a plastic crate when we left the house. One day we got home (after a one hour trip to the store) to find a blood covered crate and 2 pairs of chewed up shoes. So we got her a metal crate thinking that she couldn't chew through it and also maybe being able to see things better would put her more at ease. She destroyed the thick plastic bottom of that then ripped up the carpet where she could reach it. This is all happening in a couple hour increments. Now we leave her out, but close all the doors, and give her a couple toys to chew on while we're out. I am now coming home to problems of peeing and pooping on the floor, a hole in the side of my couch and a hole in my purse.
About 2 months ago she started growling at the kids and has bit them a few times as well. I'm at my wits end with her. I feel like I've tried all I can think of. It's starting to hurt our family life. Please HELP us!
Thank you.

What I would do is take the

What I would do is take the dog for a walk before making her enter the crate. That will help her drain energy and put her in a calm-submissive state. Then, when you're putting her in the crate, don't shut the door until she is relaxed and not on edge. At first, you can start with small time increments, and when you come back don't open the door until she's calm submissive again. You want her to associate the crate with being in a relaxed state, so that she thinks of it as a safe area and not feel that the crate is a negative thing.

Separation issues

I am having a similar problem with my Standard poodle. He is housetrained, but WILL NOT crate! He pees in it everytime I leave him alone. I am also a stay at home mom, and I have tried everything, including leaving him in a bathroom. Doesn't matter where I leave him, if I go out of the house, he pees. I am at my wits end! I don't know what to do.

Seperation anxiety

Hi Ceaser,

I have been doing your online course to combat my dogs separation anxiety. At first the results were amazing my dog Griffin was relaxed when I left him, I set up video cameras and monitored his response.

Then I had to leave him for six hours, I think it was too much too soon, and he has trashed the house damaging wooden doors. I am now leaving him short times and building it up slowly. Following rules of no goodbyes and hellos, etc. Is there anything else I can do? I really cannot let him do any more damage. He is still edgy every time I get up and move about, but I wont give up, I just want to know I am doing it right!

Thank you,
Victoria

Calm-Submissive

I would say that it is easier to leave a dog calm-submissive when that dog has less energy. Before you leave your dog, take him on a nice walk using calm-assertive energy. This will help him access a calmer state, and he will have less energy to be destructive and edgy.



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