Dear Cesar,

We have a one and a half year-old Shar-Pei/Lab mix named Ebby. We've had her since she was eight weeks old. We spared no expense on her training, and she was in boot camp for three weeks. She has been our "baby" until we brought our new son home.

Ebby seems to be scared of us now. She won't sit by us, listen, or show affection any longer. She has changed in such a negative way, and we miss our old girl. Any suggestions that you have to get the fun and obedient Ebby back would be appreciated beyond words.

Tiffani Johansen
Saint Charles, IL

Dear Tiffani,

The good news for you is that you still have that fun and obedient dog! The bad news for Ebby is that she is living with humans who aren't sure how to deal with such a big transition yet.

Since you brought your son home, your energy has changed. It's normal for a dog to want to stay away from an uncertain energy. Dogs look for stability. If your dog sees that you don't know what to do, or that you're sad, that could be interpreted as unstable energy. Just maintain a normal routine. By going for the walks as usual, by not feeling bad about the transition, and by really paying attention to how you feel about the transition yourself, you can make things much smoother for her. Embrace the beauty of having children and allow your dog, since it is part of a pack-oriented species, to integrate into the changed pack. Once you are able to have the two together - the stroller and the leash - you'll start to see a change: your dog, walking in a follower position with the baby!

A tip for taking the stroller on the walk: don't do it with your baby unless you are confident that you can balance both the stroller and the leash at the same time. Master them both separately first, then bring them together with only the scent of the baby - maybe a diaper or a blanket - before you introduce your new son into the equation.

Don't forget to watch some of the episodes where we have done this kind of training for new parents. You will see that you are not alone - you are part of the 90% of Americans who see dogs as human babies, first. Remember, she is Animal, Dog, Breed, THEN Name. You're seeing her as a name first; as Ebby. And now that you have a real human baby, she is naturally a little confused. So practice seeing her as Animal, Dog, Breed, Ebby, and then just watch the magic happen!

Stay calm and assertive,
Cesar Millan