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There are so many rewarding things about being a dog owner. There’s the unconditional love, someone to always keep you company, and to greet you when you come home. I am blind my guide dog is a five year old yellow lab named Nash. In the three plus years we have been together, we have been on airplanes together, a cruise to the Caribbean, even on TV together. Like Forrest Gump said, “we go together like peas and carrots”. We have rarely been apart.

One of my favorite things about being a dog owner is hearing the pitter patter of his little paws on the hardwood floors. I find it to be one of my favorite sounds. When walking around the house, I often hear a pitter patter behind me. I walk into the kitchen and pitter patter, to the bedroom pitter patter, even the bathroom, and there’s the pitter patter. Then one day it just hit me, my dog is stalking me, and I don’t even look like Brad Pitt. That’s right, dogs will stalk you even if you aren’t a celebrity.

Why do our dogs follow us around?
Do dogs think if they stalk us that there is a chance that they might get fed? I can understand Nash following my three year old niece around when she has food in her hand, as a lot of the time he is going to get to eat it, but I am a lot bigger and smarter than a three year old. So why is he stalking me?

Is he obsessed with me? Do I smell or look like a giant steak to him? That could explain Nash’s constant licking of me. He is also obsessed with my feet. He will maneuver his way underneath my desk to get on top of my feet, and camp out there for hours. Then I will get up to go to the bathroom, and sure enough he follows me into the bathroom.

Hey pal, I love ya, but don’t you want a little alone time? What about some privacy? I guess he figures if I am standing next to him when he goes to the bathroom outside, it’s only fair that he gets to do the same thing when I go to the bathroom. Trust me, buddy, I would love it if you could do that on your own.

So how do you know if your dog is stalking you?
There’s the first scenario, if your dog follows you to work. Bingo! Second, if you keep your dog in your backyard, and he constantly looks in your window, he’s probably stalking you–and stop keeping your dog in the backyard, it’s not 1975 anymore. And finally, if your dog runs away from home, yet every morning you find him leaving a mysterious gift in your front lawn, than your dog is probably stalking you.

So what should you do if find yourself being stalked by your dog?
Just give in. When your dog stalks you, it’s not the same as a person stalking you. Your dog is doing it out of love, and his stalking is harmless. He just longs for you. Remember this is the good kind of stalking, and you want your dog to keep it up, so give him or her lots of love, affection, and of course treats!

Got a stalker at home too? Share your funniest story with us in the comments below.

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