Forget all the crime drama shows on TV, this is the only whodunit story that any of us will ever want to follow again. The staff at Wisconsin’s Fox Valley Humane Association got people’s attention on social media with the story of Hank, a shelter dog, and his favorite toy, Fuzzy Purple Hippo, who were inseparable until a violent tragedy befell the pair.
The drama began to unfold after the discovery was made that Fuzzy Purple Hippo had been torn to shreds and was experiencing a “medical emergency.” The investigation was underway, and it soon emerged that Hank was most likely guilty.
The shelter posted on their page, “Dr. Laura is currently performing life-saving surgery to repair the near-decapitation. Details of the incident which caused the injury are murky, as Hank is refusing to answer our questions. (Yes, we have tried sternly asking, ‘What did you DO??’ But he only looks away with a guilty look on his face.) Please keep the Fuzzy Purple Hippo in your thoughts.”
Fuzzy Purple Hippo survived the surgery and made it out alive, however, she’d lost quite a bit of her stuffing. In order to make sure that she wasn’t further damaged, she was given a doggie cone.
The shelter continued the updates, writing, “She is groggy from pain medication and her demeanor seems a bit flat, but we are hopeful for a full recovery.”
It was then that the investigation really began to ramp up, and Hank was feeling the pressure.
“Since yesterday’s casual questioning brought no results, Hank was brought in for a formal interrogation into the assault of his companion, the Fuzzy Purple Hippo. As of 11:00am Hank’s jowls remain firmly closed regarding the incident,” the shelter continued.
Fuzzy Purple Hippo even got to give a victim statement of her own.
As the shelter added, “Hank met with his Humane Officer-appointed Attorney this morning to discuss the allegations of Hippossault. Although no formal charges have been filed, there are no other suspects at this time. His attorney has advised him to plead the 5th.”
Hank lawyered up, and soon, there were plenty of protesters out demanding his innocence.
Even Chief Thomas, of the Appleton Police Department, was brought in to the investigation. With the help of Blue, a police puppy in training, the pair did their best police work, checking the crime scene for clues and evidence.
The case was cracked wide open after a tuft of stuffing from Fuzzy Purple Hippo was located high on top of Hank’s kennel.
The evidence never lies.
After further investigation, the authorities pieced together the puzzle and came to the startling realization that they had an innocent dog in custody. In fact, Fuzzy Purple Hippo had never been attacked, instead, it was believed that she had been attempting to climb over the kennel in order to unlock it after closing hours, in order for her and Hank to raid the treat stash. She got snagged in the process and Hank could only watch on in horror.
The shelter said, “His heart wrenching howl could be heard throughout the shelter as she struggled to free herself but could not. Hank slid his bed to the door, made a mountain of his blankets, and climbed atop it all until he could stretch high enough to rescue his damsel in distress. Hank cared for his princess throughout the night until the staff arrived and Dr. Laura could perform the life-saving surgery that she needed.”
Thanks to the wildly entertaining crime drama, the shelter was happy to make the following announcement not long after Hank’s exoneration:
“Now that the case has been closed, Hank has been cleared, and the Fuzzy Purple Hippo has made a full recovery, they are free to go….and we are thrilled to announce that they have just been released into the custody of a new family!!! Yes, they’ve been adopted!!”